I LOST MY IC!

I feel that today I really did well controlling my emotions and not let you see them. I know that if you were to know how I felt, you would have felt worst. I know at this time, my moods,emotions,actions and I should give you more tolerance and understanding. Morning I really tried my very best to control my emotions and feelings. But deep down inside, it was really burning like a flame and ache just so badly. I know you didn't mean to say it, but I do feel it and can't help but feel down too. 

I just feel that I tried to talk and listen to you, but did not know why things turned out so ugly. Actually no mood to eat lunch / dinner. But today is my mum birthday, and I don't wish to behave this way. I tried to forget the incident and saw your sms thus decided to eat lunch and have dinner with parents. 

I really find it odd that how come nowadays my things just goes missing so frequently. Am I really that careless? Since when did I become so silly? Am I too engrossed in other things that I just lose touch of the things around me? Anyway today did some research, hopefully tml I can share them with you. And I really hope it can help you a little since that's all I could really do literally. I'm really afraid, wishing for just a hug from you. 

I really missed you. But I know you have been tired, busy and lot's of things happening. All I could do is to control my emotions and let you have time for yourself. I'm so confused. A part of me really happy and looking forward to meeting you. But a small part of me just keep worrying that after meeting me, it would be too rush for you and not having enough rest. Sigh. I'm starting work this Monday, and I really don't know what's going to happen and what to expect. Just hope everything goes smoothly. 

Today I realized that I really fail at something. I failed to express myself clearly to you. Making you misunderstand that I tried to aggravate you when you are at this point of time. All I wanted to do is to just listen to you but just something I said and made everything go down the drain, I feel so misunderstood. However, misunderstand is misunderstand. Just remember that I love you and you are the one I want to spend my life with. I will be there for you, by hook or crook. Let the misunderstanding pass and let tml be a better day for both of us.

Sweet dreams smurfy.